It was seven years ago today my brother was t-boned by a van in which the impact allowed him to suffer one of the most serious brain injuries a human can sustain and live ( I use the term "live" loosely). I am not sure a "May 16th" with go by without those thoughts in my head nor will it pass without my parents reliving those hours where they learned their child had been hit and was facing emergency brain surgery...that would last eight hours with no promising out come...
this is a little of what my mom wrote in reflection of today:
Seven years, is it a long time or a short time? I guess it is all relative. To my mom, at 86 years old, it probably is a short amount of time. To my grandson, Andrew, it is his entire life.
Seven years ago, our precious Joshua was in a horrific car accident which left him clinging to life, enduring an 8 hour brain surgery. It is an old story but it will never end….to us.
God told the Israelites to set up memorials to remember what God had done for them. This is my memorial…remembering Joshua’s accident and knowing what God has done.
God does not want us to look back to remember those who have done wrong to us or to think our lives have been tough. As a Christian, I am a new creature in Jesus Christ. I WILL look ahead to my mansion in heaven. Until then I am to live here with the scars. Scars are reminders; I choose to be reminded of God’s graciousness during a time in my life when I could only utter, “God, this is too hard.” He knew, He cared, He supplied.
Amber introduced this song by Legacy Five to me. If I had the talent, I could have penned these words. They express where I was.
“Lord stay close to me, as I journey through the darkness of this great unknown.
Lord, stay close to me, though I've place my faith in You, I feel so all alone.
My heart trembles like a child as I walk each scary mile.
And the only prayer my lips can find to speak is Lord, stay close to me.”
Despite my doubts, my fears, and perhaps my anger, God did not leave me even when I “felt” so all alone, He was there. I will choose to look at what God has given us even though we all, as a family, suffered greatly during Joshua’s recovery. We were never given hope by medical doctors that he would survive, and if he did, that he would ever lead a “productive life”.
God had a different plan. His plan is perfect. Had Joshua died he would be celebrating his 7th birthday in Heaven. But, God in His infinite wisdom, chose to leave Joshua here, for a while longer. In the last seven years I have learned much: God loves Joshua more than I do, God can speak and lead Joshua when I can’t, God can give me peace to “let Joshua go”…again.
It took 2 years for Joshua to be able to leave home again. Then he lived and worked in Walton, NY for 4 years before moving to South Otselic, NY to be the local school’s IT person last fall. He is employed doing what he went to college to learn. He rents a house and maintains it very well. He has a lovely young woman in his life. He still comes home once in a while. And most importantly, He still loves God and serves Him. What more could a mother want?
So, next time you “feel” all alone. You aren’t the only one who has been there. Most of us have. The important thing is to KNOW that you are not alone. Our Creator God, God of the Universe, our Redeemer, our Fortress, our Comfort, our Great Physician, He is there with you, holding you, caring for you, and waiting for you to turn to Him.
Seven years? Compared to eternity?
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She's pretty amazing huh?
So, yes today was a melancholy day of reflection, but it was a good day all the same. There will forever be the unanswerable "why" - but really who are we to ask? I will forever be grateful my brother's life was spared, I will forever be grateful for what I have learned since then.
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