Tragedy

Warning. Today is a weepy day. It's 7:45 and I think I woke up with tears in my eyes.  Yesterday two children were killed on four wheelers after trying to cross a busy road.  They attend a school where we have friends that work there, we have students that know them..but all that doesn't surmount to what it must feel like to be close friends, family and mom and dad.
I started receiving information at about 1:30 yesterday- but it wasn't clear until that night what had happened. It seems ironic to me that the worst tragedies happen on beautiful days. 
I have to rest in God this morning, because I cried when the boys left for school, as I picked up their things, as I put away their clothes and as I imagine at some point...those moms will have to do the same.  It was just another day, clothes were probably strewn about, backpacks left unattended and even dinner ready for that evening. But their child wouldn't be coming home.  It developed a ball of knives in the pit of my stomach. 
I don't have much else to say, except today I hurt for them. Sometimes, I just want to take everyone I love and put them in a very tight, secure, bubble that promises me no more hurt.
I have admitted to my small group I have one great fear. Losing a child.  We had to discuss if we really trusted God.  Oh, I do, I do..I thought....but something inside me spoke. In theory I do.
But, there are moments of fear that grip me. The boys. Losing them.  Can't imagine.
So. When I know of these accidents, these tragedies, I can feel that fear well up inside me and drown me.  Today will be a good practice in releasing it all back to God..about a million times over.