A small leap....

So, here it goes. For one who never really thought I would have a blog...I now have two.
It's a small(giant)/hesitant leap into the world of photography. http://amberj-photography.blogspot.com/

I have photographed for years, but this is different. Way different for me. I am not under the umbrella of a newspaper nor am I restricted in any way. The freedom is refreshing and daunting at the same time. It will be an adventure ( at least I hope ;) ) I am not leaving my job as a writer at the newspaper, but this will at least give me an outlet for something I have loved to do for a long time. I plan on reinventing as much as possible and taking my photojournalism background and stretching it. It's something that if I stretch and perhaps make myself a little uncomfortable, the "art" itself will be rejuvenated, relaxed and healthier. I don't know if that makes sense...but God willing, I will be able to keep stretching, learning and improving as I go :) So, hopefully you will join me for the ride!

Jealous(y) and Pride(ugh)

Does it really take until you are in you thirties to admit an ugly characteristic such as a jealousy and then realize it is because of pride (ugh) that you haven't really admitted that characteristic is a part of you?

Yup.

I am not sure how many of my friends (if any) or family would define me as a jealous person. If someone were to ask me if I get jealous I would quickly admit no! But, there have been a few instances in the last month where something has happened or someone(s) have done something and I can't understand why I am bothered.... I had a LONG drive to work last night with lots of alone time in the car and I thought about why certain things bothered me. After lots of dismissing and admitted and finally concluding...it was simple...I was jealous. What an ugly word. AND THEN..to top it off... I had a hard time admitting that...because I was too proud. Awesome - double whammy.

I hate to admit and now I am putting it out there ( not a usual thing for me). SO...perhaps a triple whammy?!

I won't detail the reasons I have come to this conclusion...but even something this morning hit me wrong...and I was like shoot! There it is again!

It's weird - I am not envious of 'things'. I am never jealous of the bigger house, the nicer car, or even (gulp) the better camera...ok maybe sometimes;)

But really, I realize I am jealous of time. Time with certain people, family, friends...I could detail this - but I won't. It's just a work in progress and it only took 31 years and a long drive to a shoot an event last night. I just have to be careful how that translates or WHY ...maybe throw some insecurity into the mix - I have a whole pot of awesomeness :)

I hope this doesn't sound negative...it was just an observation. Not a great one...BUT the positive thing... I admitted it...and then I blogged it....phew!

For Love(hate) of Fitness....

Ok, so I love(hate) working out.... In high school it was never a thought- I played three sports...I never had to "schedule" a work out time or design a fitness plan. It was already integrated. Then came college. Playing soccer at the college level left little time for anything else and until I blew out my knee(s) I never had to think about when or how I would work out.

However, then came life after college, kids, jobs and the world and it wasn't hard to see how some people let go of fitness in lieu of well...life. I had to figure out how life was going to go via keeping fit.

Call it family genetics, slow metabolism, whatever you will, gaining weight comes EASY to me! So, I have always had to be careful (not too careful ;) I mean, we all need a big, fat greasy slice of pizza) and I have always had to work out...guess it served me well that Gregg is a PE teacher and a fitness trainer.

I was talking to a friend who is going on a diet...I hate that word "diet"...it's the very word that describes self-deprivation. I am not going to diet, but instead find things I LOVE to eat that are actually good for me :) My friend listed all the things she was staying away from and I just know I am not that kind of person...so instead of listing the things I am NOT going to eat or do...I invested in things I enjoy eating. I won't bore you with my list, but seriously we are all begging for spring/summer to come and with spring come tank tops, shorts and yup.....bathing suits ;)

I say go positive and for those of you I have convinced to do p90x.... sooooo worth it...DON'T STOP!! I might even join you (again)... for the love(hate) of sore muscles :D

The V-Day "debate"

In the past week I have had at least three completely different conversations about Valentine's Day. It's an interesting holiday especially after hearing such vastly different ideas about it. Of course one friend LOVES it. But she has reasons. Her hubby is a super romantic with grand ideas. (No kids yet;) ) So, they do it up. Dinners, flowers, gifts - sometimes it turns into a weekend long event. She was excited for it but a little down because someone made a comment to her about it being a holiday to FORCING people to buy cards and candy. (Shhhh to those people...don't be hatin!)

That of course, brings me to my next point. I have another friend who doesn't necessarily despise the day, but prefers not to make a big deal out of it. No big romantic gestures, maybe a rose or a card - but it doesn't get crazy. She admitted she would be more impressed with gestures of "love" on random, non-holiday-type days.

Then, of course, we come to the last bit. The v-day hater. I can understand ALL three points of view. The hater doesn't hate it because she is alone or has had a bad experience, nope - she looks at it simply as a marketing giant for a certain card company :)

"I don't even think anyone likes the chocolate in the boxes, gimme a bag of peanut M&Ms and I'm good." I had to chuckle.

She also said. "Seriously, Hallmark had to write your love sentiments...I think...write me your own poem..put it on a piece of heart construction paper you cut out...and I'll like that better."

It was actually a hysterical conversation, but just left me to really visit three different ideas about one day.

I say, to each his own on that one. If you want to go grand...do it up! If you wanna be a hater...break out the bag of M&Ms and scratch down sentiments on a home-made card...honestly - I like it all.

We do use the day as a chance to have fun. The boys get little v-day gifts, Andrew LOVED doing cards up for his class and we DO send out little cards for the grandparents and this time around we are going out with friends....who all love each other :D good enough!

So, whatever your Valentine Day ideal, I say, at least it's a reminder to tell people you love... "love you."

So, love you :)

National Girlfriend Week..

I spent some time trying to validate when the "official" National Girlfriend and Sister's Week actually was...but instead of wasting time to make sure I got the date right, I decided to roll with my thoughts.

It stemmed from an email my friend sent me that began with "I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women who have touched my life. Here's to you!"

So, I admit I was a little grumpy a day or two ago..but when I thought of this blog - I did have to smile. Because. yup. I have some pretty great friends.

1. I have a mom. A mom who was a parent to me growing up and is now my friend and confidant (yes and still a mom ;) )

2. I have a girlfriend who drove in a blizzard to come make me work out with her!

3. A girlfriend texted " :) " and that was all - just a little hi. I was happy to be thought of!

4. I was sick and a girlfriend made me dinner.

5. I have girlfriends across the US re-arranging and trying hard to find time this summer to spend time together.

6. I have a girlfriend who rivals me in who needs a bigger coffee cup;)

7. I also have girlfriends who are more organized than I am and give me the challenge of doing better!!!

8. I have a girlfriend who is willing to tell me what they really think.

9. I have girlfriends who have lived with me, cried with me, listened to me, prayed with me, laughed with me and most importantly - like me for me.

10. I have girlfriends who sing with me in the car ( and yes we DO sound like Carrie Underwood) and I am blessed to have girlfriends who I know I can call anytime for anything.

11. I can only hope and pray that I am a girlfriend that can be counted on for at least ONE of these things.

Happy Girlfriend and Sisters week to all those lovely ladies in my life :)