blogs

Most of my recent ramblings are on tumblr. http://www.tumblr.com/blog/amberjphoto
FYI :)

today.

There are days when all I need is a pen,
A piece of paper and my crazy thoughts.

This.

At my last wedding this was read out loud and it held me motionless for just a little bit...then I remembered I was supposed to be photographing...

What we call ‘being in love’ is a glorious state, and, in several ways, good for us. It helps to make us generous and courageous, it opens our eyes not only to the beauty of the beloved but to all beauty, and it subordinates…our merely animal sexuality; in that sense, love is the great conqueror of lust. No one in his right senses would deny that being in love is far better than either common sensuality of cold self-centredness. But…the most dangerous thing you can do is to take any one impulse of our own nature and set it up as the thing you ought to follow at all costs.

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing…You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go…If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married’, then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and it would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?

But of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense – love as distinct from ‘being in love’ – is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it… C.S Lewis

Being Great

Being Great. We all want to be great at something.  We look at those who can fill arenas because of their music, we look at artists who are so famous we would die if we were in their presence. We admire amazing public speakers, we may be in complete admiration of someone we know in our own life, I mean THEY are great.  We seldom recognize the ways we can be great.
However, at church this Sunday morning our Pastor spoke about being great, great in a way that would probably revolutionize American culture in days and I'm not exaggerating. It wouldn't fill arenas and we wouldn't make headlines...well, maybe you would.

He emphasized being great.
Being great at holding hands.
Being great at making someone's day
Being great at ensuring someone else's success
Being great at calling home
Being great at reading your Bible
Being great about wiping applesauce of your child's face
Being great at being a brother
Being great at being a friend
Being great at being father or a mother
Being great at hugs
Being great at letting someone else get attention
Being great at listening.
Being great at making his day or her day
Being great at making her feel she's worth it
Being great at all the things, so many of us aren't great at.

If we could choose just one thing we could be great at, one thing every day. I think our hearts would fill rapidly.  

Ghettho, "porn" and "rape" - got your attention?

Ok, it's not THAT serious. But lately- I have developed a few pet peeves, lest a few of them even fall on myself for their verbal usage.

I have noticed recently on Instagram and twitter when someone posts something they feel is amazing such as a beautiful sky or delicious selection of food they hashtag it with something like this: #foodporn, #skyporn... etc.  You get the idea.
My problem is this - should you know someone who struggles with addiction or have ever stepped back to look at the industry itself..porn has almost single handedly destroyed our nation. Think I am being dramatic? Then, I encourage you to do some research on your own.  It  has destroyed families and is the number one reason child sex trafficking is at an all-time high. The word "porn" has no other indication than something defining a sick obsession with sex.   I understand most people using it are in no way encouraging the dark industry - but really? Any other way we could perhaps not take such levity with such a disgusting word?

One more.  The term, "Yea I got totally raped" when one loses a game or verbally attacked in some sort of way.  Please.  Raped?  Think through what that means or at least think of those who have suffered through such an event. To say something so flippant makes me cringe when I think of those who truly have been raped.  It's just a small pet peeve, a sensitivity issue perhaps?  Could we just say..."I lost?"

"That's so ghetto". I'm guilty of this But a friend recently published this blog - I won't expand too much, I think he says it all. It's not that we can necessarily censor EVERYTHING we say - we will probably always offend someone, but perhaps a little more sensitivity to what we are saying and the context we are using it in.

Then, there is the name of Jesus Christ. It hits me hard because if I, or anyone would take any other "religious figure" and use their name inappropriately - I would be banned from life..or something else dramatic.   We can use so many names and words flippantly - but the name Jesus Christ, is still a special name to this girl. There is a world in which He died for, a people who have forgotten him and a nation that is slowly being persecuted should they still believe in him.  So, for all those phrases we use..perhaps this one - is the one most carelessly verbalized.

Now, I shall step off my soapbox :)

Highschool...

High school. The great nemesis of childhood or the brilliant jumping off point to the next step in life. I recently read an article that you should learn how to deal with life in high school, because you never really leave it.
I believe that.  You will forever have to deal with insecurities, comparisons, the successful crowd, the ambivalent crowd, fair weather friends, heartaches and heart breaks...and on it goes.
My mother saved a ton of my writing from high school. I kind laughed as I went thought some of it.  Immature words and dream like qualities that had yet to be tarnished or had yet to come true.
I realized the writings seemed silly because my world view was still so small at that time. Soccer and the pursuit of it was my world, my friends weighed in on my every opinion and God and family were something I was still figuring out.
All that to say- I will try to let go of my pride and share a few pieces. They kill me! Here is the first one ( almost think it's my junior or senior year)

Hope

Out there lies the land of opportunity,

New people, new faces, new wonders, new places.

Regrettable memories buried beneath the sandstone of time. 

A new frontier to create better times and memories that will never die.

With new hope born, goals are set and conquered as a new person breaks from the mold of childhood.

This new freedom is the playing field for mistakes and victories.

Learning from the problems and taking careful pride in the conquered..

press on..

explore these new grounds.

For out there you will find your niche, and out there, if you are wiling to search you will find the person you always wanted to be.

wondering...

Ever wonder why you do the same thing over and over and you KNOW it's not gonna end well, but you still do it.
I always wonder what that is. Immediate gratification? Stubborn strong will? Refusal to admit you are wrong so you hang on even tighter.
I wish I knew exactly what it was that allowed myself and others to hang out to the very thing that is detrimental to their hearts and minds.  Everyone seems to do it in one way or another, hanging on.....


Hanging on so tight
in lifelong fight
not knowing when to let go
your heart beats so slow

giving in with the pain
giving up when there is no gain
wanting what isn't
satisfied with i can't

wondering why we do
what we never wanted
wanting to do
what we never did